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Mrs. Horseshoe VIP Member

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Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 12:40 pm |
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A Newfie was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
'What's with that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked.
'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the Newfie replied.
'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.
'Yup' replied the Newfie.
'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.
'Watch' the Newfie replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, 'You a**hole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!'
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redfisher VIP Member

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Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 08:53 pm |
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thank you.
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Mrs. Horseshoe VIP Member

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Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 10:38 pm |
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your welcome....
Mrs. Horseshoe 
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Mrs. Horseshoe VIP Member

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Posted: Tue Jan 22nd, 2008 12:27 pm |
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Garge the Newfie
A Doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he
approached his assistant. "Garge, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't
want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take
care of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers Garge.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So, Garge, How was your day?"
Garge told him that he took care of three patients.
"The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL." "Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, Sir" says Garge.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table. She spreads her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Tunderin' lard Jesus Garge, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
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